Sick and Tired

Friday December 1st went to the bank, lounged in the PJ’s had a touch of the sniffle’s but went to Ann’s so she could straighten my hair. It looked really nice but I’m not sure I want it to be permanent. Then we were off to met up with P for our girls’ night out. I’ve never been out with the girls as the primping, preening and gossip just aren’t my thing but Ann and P don’t really do much of that, I feel like I can just be me around them which is why I agreed to go with them to see male stripper’s.

I did more than my fair share of drinking and was completely blown away by the show. First the guts on the female volunteers, the things women will do for free drinks and stuffed teddy bears is down right amazing. As are the moves the men could do, this one gent was able to flip this girl completely heels over head and had they both been totally naked he wouldn’t have slipped out if you know what I mean. They could in a split second have those females in any position they liked and did so at will. All I could think was now there’s a talent, Can you teach it to my boyfriend?

On the ride home things got a little WACKY and the combination of my cold medication, the mixing of drinks (which I lost count of at 4) plus the smoke had me feeling first like we were riding through a cloud and surrounded by mist that was fine but the schizophrenia part was a little more than I like.

I’m still not certain what parts of the ride home were real, including conversations I think were had between me Ann and her best friend Bri (our designated driver for the evening) and whether or not I went outside in my socked feet after they dropped me at home hands held to the sky trying to catch snowflakes that may or may not have been real. And then there is the black and white movie I watched for an hour that may or may not have been a Shakespearian version of Roxanne.

It even amazes the crap out of me that I didn’t puke after all of that considering while I was mildly hungry I know I ate a half bag of mini croissants, a large bowl of spaghetti and sauce after that I am aware I ate for an hour straight but what I consumed is lost in the fragments of my mind. I am a bit of a control freak and once the Wacky ride starts there’s no way to get off but time. Thus no control and that’s a feeling I just can’t stand.

All in all it was the most fun I’ve had in a good long while without Dash. I’d do it all again minus the Wacky. When I asked Ann about it she said I was cut off anyway so good riddens to bad rubbish.

Saturday and Sunday Bug and I ran around collecting things to add to our decorations of the home. We put up the Christmas village and the lights on the house. Unfortunately my sniffles continued to worsen due to the fact that we walked almost everywhere we went while it was spitting flakes and the wind just tore right through us.

Sunday night Dash initiated fun, part of me thinks he found the straightened hair extremely attractive, he said he’d been thinking of me all weekend. So I also have to wonder if his thinking of me staring at other men might have lit a bit of the green fire in his loins. Either way I was rewarded with the magic tongue and give a hell of a ride all the way to O land and back TWICE!!

I stayed home Monday because Bug was sick. I myself was feeling run down but figured it was from all the running around and no real rest so Tuesday I went to work I had a moment where I felt dizzy but it passed and I finished the day feeling rather decent. Wednesday I got out of bed felt horrid and instead of going to the computer where I do my waking up almost everyday I bypassed that for a nap on the couch while Dash got ready for work. That really should have been my first clue.

See Dash gets up most morning between 4 and 4:45 a.m. because he requires about 2 hours to soak in his coffee in order to have full cognitive functioning. Then he requires an hour in the bathroom to shave his head and shower. I get up at 6 a.m. because all I need is 45 minutes to soak in my Dr. Pepper (diet these days) and 15 minutes to get ready I bathe at night (as it relaxes the muscles and mind enough that I can get to sleep easier – insomniac I think to much worrying out problems). So when I get up he gives up the computer, we both play Pogo in the mornings as the games are mindless and pass the time joyfully.

Anyway I get to work find out my schedule is messed up (my own fault since I didn’t find out until Monday that Bug’s after school programs were over), get settled into my work station. I organize my desk, log in to the 2 systems we use and begin taking calls. Only I begin to notice my attention is severely lacking and I am having to ask customers to repeat themselves, and I’m quite dizzy followed very quickly by nausea. That’s right folks I was there exactly an hour before I had to leave and go to the Doctor.

The Doctor informs me due to the fact that I have been in his office 3 times in 3 months (this is highly abnormal for me since I get sick exactly once a year when the season changes from fall to winter) that I have a high chance of a nasal infection and that if I don’t get some rest and get better it will only get worse he prescribes flonase for 2 weeks twice a day and suspends me from work until Saturday. Lovely really, there goes half of my Christmas money because I’ve worked exactly 7.5 hours this week.

I get home to a message on machine from Bug’s school. The psychologist who gives the test for children in need of extra help with reading, math etc. is in the school today for god only knows how long and she needs to interview me and have me fill out surveys in order to begin Bug’s evaluation. We have been waiting 2 years for this test so I immediately turn around and rush to the school. This takes 1 ½ hours to complete.

Then Dash comes home and we have to go out and do Bug’s x-mas shopping as this is the last opportunity before Christmas to do so without her and the sitter was already booked. We got all but 2 of hers and Dash can pick up the others. So much for rest. This has been going on since I got this job.

I really believe the reason I’ve been so sick so much lately is because I have been spreading myself so thin and I’m not used to it. Ann says this is crap because she’s been doing it for years – this kind of pisses me off as I have been a stay at home mom for the last 10 years, she hasn’t she’s the kind who had to work or starve, which is great for her a lot of women do it I am aware of this but when you go from only doing a certain amount of things a day to doing 3 times as much it messes with you. I feel weak saying it I really do but I am not her and am still adjusting to being able to juggle it all.

So today I am headed for the couch and a lot of napping because tomorrow I have to take Dash to work so I can get the grocery shopping done, pick up my check from work and since Bug has PA day I can take her to do her Christmas shopping for Dash. I hope one day is enough for me to get better because I need to go back to work Saturday as there are only 9 working days left for me in this campaign.

Watch Out Here I Come

I believe we left off with my going to an interview last Friday. Interview is a relative term since it was for a temp agency (A-HR). Which is basically a meet, greet and test kind of thing. They want to know how well you will interview and find out what marketable skills you have that best suit the needs of their clients. I was greatly surprised by the results of my tests.

The Tests given were for numeric, words per minute, Excel and Word. I figured that I would do poorly on the numeric and average at the Excel. Turns out that it was my typing that was rusty at a measly 35 wpm. I of course think I will be retesting sometime in the very near future as I once tested at 90 wpm and the 35 wpm will vastly reduce the job opportunities. It really shouldn’t have surprised me that I did 77 strokes-per-minute at numeric since that’s pretty much what I do all day with the campaign I am on now.

I got an overall rating of 74% on the Excel and 81% on Word.

My interviewer asked what job I didn’t want to do again and are you surprised to know I said Call Centre? Its mind numbingly tedious, I have the same conversation every 3.5 minutes at an average of 127 times in an 8 hour shift. I need a bit more of a challenge, sometimes a bit more pressure and chaos – after all that’s what I’m good at and complaining all the while secretly my soul burns for it. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I hate it just that I have higher expectations of myself than this job can afford me. So far I’ve worked the empty-headed job, the so strenuous it almost killed me job and now the rinse lather and repeat job. If that isn’t from one end of the spectrum and back again I don’t know what else it is. Can’t I please find something in the middle?

Aside from that for the first time in my life a FEMALE co-worker asked me to go out with the GIRLS and I accepted. This was shortly followed by her coming to my house to help me pick out an OUTFIT. Tomorrow I’m going to her house so she can do an emergency hair MAKE-OVER! Good lord I’m turning into a girl (I just spent 2 hours in the bathroom trying out a new hairstyle) what next? I’m actually quite excited but if you’ve read me before you know I spend less than 30 minutes doing shower, make-up and hair combined. I don’t mind looking decent but I’ve NEVER been the kind of female who preened herself. Oh and here’s the kicker – can you guess where we girls are going?

Do you really want to know?

I’m almost embarrassed because I’ve never been before.

It’s dare I say it a…

MALE REVUE!

Baby, roll those dice!

I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet but things have been extremely busy around here. Besides working which pretty much leaves me mentally drained with no desire to sit in front of the damnable machine there has been Christmas shopping and now Dash and I are toying with the idea of moving North again.

Over the weekend I had some horrible stomach thing that had me in agony at both ends. That was intensified by some In-law cliché hoop-la which basically left Dash and I tired, as this nonsense has been going on for 3 years now. I won’t get into it because I’m not the bashing kind and the story is to long to tell basically the women don’t approve because I have a mind of my own and speak my opinions and won’t just happily follow their ideals.

At any rate it effects my 11 year old more than it should and we are putting a stop to that now.

Monday was technical hell at work, systems rebooting on their own, freezing up and queues filling up for one person and not others, etc. Tuesday the owners were in so the TL’s were running around intensely upset and taking it out on us. Today I picked-up a shift to offset the Sunday I was sick. Through all of this I have been amazingly up beat laughing at all the absurdity.

I got a call back on a resume’ I put in 2 weeks ago and will be meeting with HR on Friday to take tests and talk about my goals so I’ll have a job to go to after the holidays hopefully.

Dash found a job up North whose starting pay is $65k a year and though he hasn’t fulfilled his dream (the whole reason we came to TO) we are all in a flutter about seeing were fate leads us as there may be a rent-to-own house in the Northern deal ( which is my dream) and his can be reached from the North as well so we’ll see where that roll of the dice takes us. Mostly it boils down to whether we stay or go there are positives and negatives to both sides but one of them has triple the salary he is making now and that’s kind of hard to pass up on without even trying.

I know all this is very vague but things are so up in the air right now I’d rather have my facts straight before I go blurting out half truths and things that may or may not happen besides call me superstitious when I get my hopes up and start spouting about how great things are going to be somehow a piano always manages to drop down on us.

No! No! No! YES!

Last week wasn’t really anything worth writing home about, so of course I didn’t. I was supposed to have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off but because I was sick those three days I decided to volunteer for a Saturday shift. Which in and of itself wasn’t a bad thing ( I still have 18 hours to make up) until the little Indian girl next to me pissed me off.

In a Call Centre the rules are simple:
1. Answer the phone.
2. If you have a question raise your hand.
3. Work as a team.
4. If there are calls in the que clear them before taking any breaks including lunches.
5. No internet surfing between calls.

My lunch was scheduled for 6:45 15 minutes before that the que didn’t get loaded but got a little busy as in 8 people in que. During the next 45 minutes 3 people were out of their seats chasing down the team leader (who was alone for the first time) to ask questions numerous times and the little Indian girl went for her 15 minute break with 3 people in que. The TL asked her if there were calls in que and she said no. Over those 45 minutes the que would fall to 3 then fill again to 8. By this point smoker (I can push my craving to 3 hours but at 4 it's full on bitch mode) that I am I was very frustrated. Okay that’s not quite the truth I was pissed.

I’ve been working this job for 3 weeks never in all that time has it ever taken the team 45 minutes to clear 8 calls. The team I trained with cleared a que of 20 in 15 minutes. The team I trained with would never leave their cohorts with even 1 person in que for their breaks and my team would TRY to answer the question themselves with the quick reference if the TL was busy or took longer than expected to get to them.

Finally I’d had enough I had to go on my 30 minute lunch or I was going to start yelling at the customers, which would not have been fair to them or professional. After I made this decision I took another 2 calls, then immediately spent the next 5 minutes talking this over with the TL. I was seething while I ate my lunch, thankfully the little Indian girl had enough sense to not talk to me let alone look at me in the cafeteria – good for her because I would have given it to her with both barrels. As is my custom after I finished my lunch I went down to have my smoke and was back at my desk 5 minutes early ready to log in. The little Indian girl was nowhere to be seen, when I informed the TL she found her asleep in the cafeteria.

Of course later she was caught surfing the net and deviating from script which is a huge No-no for the company whose campaign we are on. The TL even put me in charge once while she went to smoke (as there was no one else to relieve her) because I was the senior agent on the floor. Thank god my shift was only 6 hours. Needless to say I was happy to get out of there.

Sunday I had resigned myself to having a lazy lay around the house and recuperate day. Best laid plans and all that jazz Dash in rare form decided he wanted to get part of his Christmas shopping done and that he wanted it to be a family affair. This is a man who has refused 4 Christmases in a row to shop before the last week. So that’s what we did with our Sunday. The good news is we now have the shopping completed for his side of the family in their entirety, which is one less thing to worry about because since he goes north only every 2 weeks we will be celebrating with his family on the weekend of December 15th. We both agreed yesterday after work that after Sunday's hijinx we felt like we needed another day off. Of course last night we had to pick up the larger items bought on Sunday and none of us got to bed before midnight. Le sigh!

The gifts are exceptional so far this year and I think the rest will be just as wondrous. It’s been 3 years of us trying to have as wonderful a Christmas as our first year together. I believe this one is going to surpass them all. Now if I could only get a little snow the season and all it’s magic would be complete for me.

Strep & Snow

Monday morning I attended work doped up because I had a sore throat. Nothing I took seemed to last longer than 2 hours so by the end of the day I was thinking that I had made a heroic effort at showing up instead of calling in. That night I had tried everything in my arsenal of cold medications, colds, flu, Nyquil, Buckley's (awful shit) Tylenols 1 and 3 and nothing I mean nothing would last longer than 2 hours and that was about the length of sleep I got that night.

Tuesday morning I succumbed to my illness and actually carried myself to the Doctor. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I will not go to the Doctor unless I am dieing or whatever I have can’t be cured by me. I had narrowed it down to 1 of 2 things Strep throat or Mono both of which would require antibiotics to get better and I was certain that that medication would begin to make me feel better within 24 hours so I procrastinated as long as I dared and went at 1:30 in the afternoon. The verdict - Strep Throat.

Kudos to Canada for it not costing anything to see the Doc but what’s up with having to pay for the medication to make you feel better $65 freaking dollars later and that didn’t include the $15 cost of the note for work. Don’t even get me started on the fact that Dash went to fill his new prescription for his asthma yesterday and it cost him $100.58. Needless to say we are looking at his coverage from work to see if we can get any of that $180 back.

I’m contagious you see so I missed 3 days of work and really didn’t feel all that bad. Besides the fact that talking irritated my throat and a rumor that if 1 person in a Call Center gets sick everyone does I could have been at work. Not only did the medication cost $180 for both Dash and I but cumulatively we have missed 5 days of work that amounts to $451 in lost wages. ARRGGGHHHH!!!

I’m eligible to work tomorrow but that’s the one day we aren’t open so I go back to work on Saturday. I have to go grocery shopping today or I’ll starve this weekend. Bug and Dash will be off to the much colder Ottawa for the weekend so I guess all will be quiet on the home front. Speaking of I saw my first snowflakes today. Have I ever mentioned how much I love snow?

Listen…did you hear that?

All the Canadians just groaned with frustrated agony at me. It’s funny the looks I get when I say that. I can’t help it I’m a winter born child and I LOVE SNOW!!! It could be worse I could wish for it. I don’t I wait patiently for that first magical blanket. When it arrives that’s when I feel surrounded by the spirit of love, kindness and charity. It is my season and I am most comfortable in it – complete and content.

Scheduling Shenanigans

The 4 days of training hours weren’t half as bad as my hours this past week. Training ran from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. which suited my not loving mornings and got me home in time to see the family but not quite early enough to eat with them.

In case you didn’t know having dinner with my man and child is a huge thing for me. At one point Dash’s work schedule was so bad he was seeing his other daughter Miska (who lives 4 hours away and he only gets to visit her every other weekend) more than he was seeing us. There were many a long uncomfortable conversation about fixing this – which we did but it took almost a year. So when it affects us we are very careful to make sure everyone is in agreement that the sacrifice is worth it and that ALL of us are willing to contribute to whatever cause it is I am working for.

This week however I did not get home before 11 p.m. During the training the company did not bother to ask for our availability and so I was aware that the schedule was going to be nasty. I talked it over with the family and it was decided, if this was what the company required then we would all pitch in to help around the house and with our time (i.e. not seeing each other as much as we’d have liked) but only because we knew that it would end on December 20th. It was stressful when I first saw it (yeah I cried). I made effort after effort all week to tell the higher ups that I had limitations and when the schedule was posted it was almost a slap in the face because the hours I got were in direct opposition to what I had asked for.

Tuesday our Team Leader (TL – Richie) handed out a sheet asking for our availability (poor guy was bombarded by people with the exact same problem) to his credit he did listen to his team and was making the effort to make us happy and until yesterday I was afraid it was going to be wasted effort – because as hard as he pushed for it, it was still out of his hands because Ama (HR – Director) was the one making the schedule. I have to say I am pleased because all my requests but one were given within a half hour time differential. The one still outstanding is a minor glitch I think can be remedied in another week. It means the family has to make a concession for it but at least it is workable and we don’t always get everything we want.

I got my first pay check yesterday. I deposited it this morning as well as glancing over the new bills coming in and the news letters from school. Not to much to worry about for damage control which is good so I intend to spend the rest of this afternoon doing what I want to do because the rest of the weekend is going to be loud fun with the fam.

Inbound

Okay so it works out that my big 2 month secret doesn’t need to be a secret that long. That Friday (which by now is a week ago) I half-assed sent out 3 resumes because our Christmas was in jeopardy of being non-existent. An hour later I received a phone call for an interview the following Monday.

Monday morning I awoke Bug for school and headed off for the shower (this is something I usually save for the evenings as it relaxes me). I dressed in my everyday clothes (I had 3 hours before I needed to leave for the interview), styled my hair and put my outfit on the bathroom door as Bug was leaving for school. I then decided to go out on the back sun porch for my morning smoke.

And here’s where things get interesting. A couple of weeks ago when Binner moved out we changed the locks. The new door knobs even when locked will turn from the inside. Yep that’s right I locked myself out wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I hurried to the school to see if Bug had her keys, she did not. From the office I called Dash to ask him if he thought I should take the bus/cab to him to pick-up his keys with only 2 hours to go before the interview. It would have been nearly impossible for me to make it on time so he decided to come home let me in so I could change my clothes and then he dropped me off.

I was hired for an Inbound Call Center Agent whose contract runs out on Dec.20th. The pay rate is $10 an hour and there is a bonus if we fulfill that contract $1 for every hour worked. The training was 4 arduous days long and yesterday was my first day on the phone. There have been some issues with scheduling but I guess I’ll have to do the best I can.

So the reason I was going to keep this all a secret is because I seem to have only a 2 month attention span with the jobs I take and was afraid if I got excited that it would happen again and disappoint myself. Seeing as how the contract is only 9 weeks long it won’t be me who tires first. At any rate since I spend all day in front of a computer screen I may not update more than once a week – I just can’t take looking at this bloody screen after an 8 hour day. I’ve also found it’s very tiring. Still trying to figure that one out.

Jinx Me Not

Ah! Is the weekend really almost over? I’m happy and sad about that. For a couple of reason but those are later. Let us begin with…

Thursday (I know not technically part of the weekend but that’s where the fun begins) – My daughter reminds me at bedtime that not only is she having a sleep over the next day but our friend Biz is visiting with his 2 kids for the weekend and us with little more than PB&J in the cupboards. So arrangements had to be made on the fly for me to have the truck on …

Friday so I can go grocery shopping. Since we only have the one vehicle and I shop like the world is coming to an end when I go. I can not be one of those people who shops via bus. How anyone does that really is beyond me.

• So I drop Dash at work.
• Do the shopping.
• Race home to prepare lunch for Bug.
• Open the mail and find out that the cable/internet bill is 4 days past cutoff.
• I borrow money on my overdraft to cover it.

Mind you this latter is of particular importance because as of September I should have been saving for the x-mas fund but we spent ½ of it on weather proofing the house ‘cause the landlord is a cheap bastard and the other ½ getting a $238 TV we salvaged fixed for half the price. So I had to use Octobers’ x-mas money to pay bills and I can see the trend building (I saw it building because I redid the budget to see what was going to happen) so I decide for the second day last week to half-ass look for a job (Tuesday I put out 3 e-mail résumé’s) another 3 e-mail résumé’s on Friday. I of course was shall we say quite a bit more than mildly depressed. Christmas is my favorite holiday and no not for the commercialism but because it is the one time of year I can give to my family freely. I love watching their faces light up, that’s my gift. I also love decorating the tree.

Anyhow an hour after that I got a surprise which I can not talk about for the next 2 months on the grounds that it may jinx me. I had to wait for Bug and her friend to get home from school to go pick up Dash which really sucks because Dash is finished work at 4pm Bug walks through the door from school at 3:45pm and we are stuck in rush hour traffic coming and going. We get home have dinner and then Biz drops off 2 more kids ages 3 and 5 to watch while he and Dash drive an hour coming and going to Barrie to drop off his niece at her Dad’s. By the time they get back we visit for an hour and then it’s off to bed for the yawning lot of us.

That will bring us to the slogged un-caffeinated Dash who was awakened by Bug’s friend’s father at 10:30. I really don’t understand parents who are up at the crack of dawn on a freakin’ Saturday. Haven’t these people heard of sleeping in? Especially since I asked her mom if she needed her home at any particular time and she said, no. Oh well that was one less mouth to feed. I made pancakes for 3 kids and 3 adults which put me in the kitchen into the afternoon. Cook then clean. We tried to take the youngins to the park but we got a mix of hail and rain so that forced us indoors again.

Sunday, hell is that today I guess for another couple of hours it is. Right so it was clean the house so I don’t have to worry about it this week because I may be otherwise occupied. I can’t say, really. I won’t find out until tomorrow anyway. Ah, look never could keep a secret so now I have to post before I ruin my future.

Simple Really

Our weekend with the in-laws to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving went very smoothly. Saturday morning Dash and I took a moment to enjoy a little delight then took the girls out to breakfast, after which Dash took his daughter Miska to a birthday play party at McDonald’s while Bug and I visited with Biz and an old friend Lisa. As dusk was settling in we went in search of the church (turned into a house on MLS). Which we found quite easily. It seems a little to close to the neighbors but still a consideration. That evening we had an impromptu dinner with family before Dash’s sis and brother-in-law scampered away for a party with friends.

Sunday was down right gorgeous so we spent the afternoon in the park while dinner was being prepared. I received many compliments on my homemade Dutch Apple Pie as well as the previous Christmas’ glazed Ham with petitions to prepare it again this year. Monday was misspent with Dash and I bickering followed by making-up the old fashioned way. Last night we rented Click . Overall not bad but I’m not fond of a movie changing its tone midway through. Today I’ve been posting my resume and cleaning up as we will be having a guest this evening. Later I’m hoping we’ll have time to watch X-men: The Last Stand . Pretty simple but that’s the way we like it.

Busy Bee

It’s definitely going to be a busy week. Yesterday I washed dishes and laundry until Bug got home from school whereupon Bug and I finished moving the remainder of her belongings downstairs while Dash fixed a chip in the trucks windshield as well as cleaning out the interior of said truck.

For dinner Bug cooked burritos while I washed still more dishes. After dinner Dash drilled a hole into the front room’s closet so that we could move the computer into that room freeing up the dining area for the huge heritage heirloom dining table we’ve had stored at Dash’s parents for about 3 years now.

By the time all of that was done it was 9 p.m. Dash retired to the bedroom to read himself sleepy as did Bug. I worked on moving our computer equipment into the new Office/Library. By myself it took until quarter of 1 a.m. to get things semi organized.

Today I’ve been to the bank, reworked the budget – a big YEAH ‘cause we’re on target – and have been putting plastic over the windows in preparation for the winter months. Tonight Dash has to put weather stripping up, drop off a TV for a repair estimate and stop by the grocery store while I cook dinner wash more dishes, laundry and I still have those 3 Terra Cotta projects to complete for the Monster Bash.

Not sure what will be happening tomorrow, probably moving the excess from room shifting to the garage, sweeping and Swifering. Thursday is Dash’s payday so that means I will be going to the bank and paying bills. Bug has a Cross Country Meet and then there’s the “Meet the Teacher” BBQ. I’d love being so warn out if it was helping me sleep better but it’s not. I still have hell-a insomnia!

Working Weekend

The house D and I currently rent is very poorly maintained. The basement foundation is cracked and so old it crumbles in some places to the touch. The furnace is a 1985 model. The windows are probably just about as old, the chalking is non existent or cracking and most of the windows have mold around them inside and out. The roof leaks in the bathroom and the back bedroom. The sun porch is literally falling off the house. This house is so old in fact its walls are made of slats not drywall and they are insulated with strips of newspaper.

When we call the landlord about problems he is quick to fix them, the problem is when he fixes them he puts the equivalent of a band aid on a cut that needs not merely stitching but staples. Trying to get this man to spend any kind of money is like pulling teeth from King Kong. My philosophy is if you put out the big bucks to have it fixed correctly then it will cost you less in the long run.

At any rate the point I am trying to get around to is that Dash and I had requested in order to stave off another high gas bill this winter, for him to chalk all the windows. After 2 weeks of waiting we decided to do it ourselves. We purchased plastic to cover all the windows, new weather stripping for the back door, four tubes of chalking and a chalking gun. Cost us about $50 and one afternoon of work.

Our other project is still under way. During the course of Binner’s stay we made every effort to make sure he was comfortable in his basement apartment. Moving chairs down there for him to use, keeping our eyes peeled for cast offs like the carpet D got from work as well as offering to help him fix it up. For the most part he feigned interest but didn’t really try to make it homey. Now that he is no longer with us we have moved Bug back down there.

And that my friend is how we spent our weekend.

To Significant

Two things of significance happened on Friday September 22nd.

I know that I have mentioned that I am a widow. I know that I have mentioned that my husband was killed on duty while in the service of the US Navy. I don’t believe that I have ever gotten more detailed than that. By all accounts of those present I was told that while performing maintenance on an F-14 Fred was standing in the pilot’s seat facing the rear of the plane bent over putting in the drogue chute when the seat fired (ejected). It happened so fast that his co-worker in the co-pilot’s seat said he didn’t even know it had happened until the seat fell on him. At the time he was stationed at Oceana Naval base in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

After his death, I received a copy of the JAG report. In it blame is pretty evenly distributed. For me it left no one really to blame for the loss of my husband. His sister wanted me to blame the Navy and I couldn’t do that because Fred knew what he was doing when he signed up – risks and all. His mother wanted me to blame the manufacturer of the ejection seat but I couldn’t do that either. I simply didn’t have the energy to fight for millions of dollars for many years I was to heart broken.

In the end I blamed that plane. The F – 14 Tomcat. I couldn’t watch Top Gun to save my life or stand to see flight decks on aircraft carriers even if only momentarily. So what was so damnable significant on Friday? They retired that fucking plane at Oceana. I wept tears of joy as I watched on the news. I only wish I had known in advance so I could have been standing there. It wouldn’t even surprise me to learn it was done at the very squadron he was assigned to. They were known as “The Grim Reapers” ironic isn’t it?

And secondly Das was notified by his attorney that his divorce is finally final. He picked up the papers on Monday. Sounds simple enough but you can’t begin to imagine my elation or his.

In an interesting turn of events I have now had a chance to think about what that means for Dash and me. Would you believe it after all my badgering to Dash about why he couldn’t even think about marrying me, my incessant beseeching request about whether or not he ever intended to propose to me and I am frightened now that he actually will. My stomach catches in my throat at the thought, the butterfly beneath my chest beats all hell to escape to Mexico and I break out in a cold sweat.

It isn’t as if I don’t want to marry the man only that I am not where I want to be in my career. Some part of me knew I was safe and now I’m afraid to give him money (I’m the accountant in the relationship) and heaven forbid Christmas morning. He’s quite delighted by this and insists on ribbing and poking fun at me.

Wedding Part 3 - The Reception

The Reception was held at Golden Court Abalone Restaurant in Richmond Hill. Oi & Betty spent the next hour or so standing on the dance floor to allow everyone a chance to have their pictures taken with the happy couple. When our turn arrived I asked Betty, “Are you tired of smiling yet?” She said, “My face hurts and I’m afraid it’s frozen like this.” Before we gave the couple back to their adoring audience Betty whispered at me,”Open bar.” And while I’d never have believed it her smile actually got bigger and brighter. Girl can drink you under the table and hold her liquor but looks so sweet and innocent while doing it.

The centerpieces on the table were Calla Lilies held inside a tall glass vase by stones. These were offered as gifts to one lucky winner. The previous wedding’s centerpieces were given to the person whose birthday was closest to the Grooms. This time the person whose birthday was closest to the groom got to be the presenter of the gift to the 3rd person on their left. Which got a laugh. The music was done by an MC/DJ with a karaoke machine. Until the woman at our table told us I hadn’t even noticed that he was singing all the songs himself. Perfect pitch, perfect tone, and great inflection – it seems he’s something of a celebrity for his talent.

Every time we approached the bar there seemed to be a group handing out shots, they of course asked where the little one from Oi’s birthday was. All night long the Bug said that was how people remembered her. She was embarrassed by this, I of course thought it funny.

Beside the centerpiece was a menu when I took my turn to look at it I noted an extremely long list:

Roasted Slice Duckling Pig

Stir-fried Shrimp & Scallop wVegetable

Deep Fried Crab Claw

Shark Fin Soup wShredded Chicken

Beef Fillet in Chinese Style

Deep Fried Crispy Chicken

Stir Fried Lobster wGreen Onion
s
Fish Fillet wVegetable

House Special Fried Rice

Braised E-Fu Noodle

Fancy Pastries

Sweet Red Bean Soup

I glanced at Dash and asked, “Is this what we have to choose from or are we being served all of this?” (It turns out all of it!) Bug had occupied herself with learning how to work the plastic chop sticks. She asked me how but unfortunately I didn’t feel versed enough to teach her. I excused myself for a stick of fresh air only to return and find the elderly Asian chap at our table gleefully teaching Bug chop stick techniques. Bug whispered to me as I sat down, “Isn’t it neat that he was willing to teach me?”

To which I replied, “He probably thinks it’s just as neat that you are interested in learning something about another culture.” And from that point forward in the meal his daughter gave us the benefit of her heritage by helping us to know what sauce went with which course. Telling us about the exotic touches accompanying some of them. (Cuddle fish – that’s jellyfish tentacles if you didn’t know). Everyone at our table at least TRIED everything put in front of them even if they didn’t eat all of it. Which is quite the feat since Dash hates seafood. I was very proud of my little family again as our own personal Chinese director said, “At least you’re trying it. Most of the people at the other tables are just looking at it.”

Personally I took it as an opportunity to try something I wouldn’t otherwise order for myself and as a point of respect for the heritage of the people we were there to celebrate. What is life but a chance to experience new things? You never know what you’ll like until you try it. I certainly learned a thing or to about myself. I also learned the reason Chinese drink Jasmine tea – hot with no sugar or cream is because the majority of the food is so greasy that they need to wash the toxins out of their systems and the tea was how they did that.

About the second course the bride was going to throw the bouquet. I was forced to go even though Dash and I are considered common-law. Specifically in the eyes of the Canadian government as attested by the Statutory Declaration of Common-Law Union (form IMM 5409 (06-2002) E ) notarized and signed by both he and I in January 2004. Apparently this was not good enough so I followed my daughter to the dance floor, situated myself to the far left but up front. Oi gave me a quizzical look, I shrugged my shoulders and said they made me. He immediately yells to Betty to throw it in my direction. I’m blushing, and accepting of my fate. I decide if it sails my way I will catch it, even reach my hand up if it appears to go over my head. It would have been headed right for me but luckily she didn’t throw it with enough force for it to do more than clear her head. It landed on the floor in front of Bug who dived for it. That was not part of the deal I made with myself I would not be involved in unladylike behavior over some flowers and a superstition.

After that, the bride changed into a different gown. Usually the bride will change her clothes five times on the wedding day. If it’s her first marriage, she will first appear in white; to symbolize the bride's purity. The second dress is a red traditional Chinese Choengsam dress, also known as Qi Pao, or Qun Kwa. She wore this to toast the guests as a couple. During the serving of shark fin soup, the couple went from table to table, doing this with all the guests. The third dress was her party dress the one she had her first dance in and the cutting of the cake.

Just after Oi and Betty finished having their community toasts Dash and I had had the bright idea to handcuff the couple together. Oi is a cop after all. It was funnier than it sounds considering it took 4 guys to get the cuffs on Oi slinging the bride around trying to catch him.

Throughout the dinner the bridal party had the couple play games. Eating a strawberry together with their hands behind their backs. Questions about how well they knew each other. My personal favorite was when they had Betty put a cell phone in the right leg of Yoi’s pants. Holding it from the outside she had to answer the phone and hold a conversation as she progressed it up the pant leg across the crotch and down the left pant leg. The first person she spoke with was her father and the second was Oi’s mom. It was delightful. I have video.

All in all it was the best wedding I have ever had the pleasure to attend. So here’s to wishing them all the happiness possible in this life and the next.

Wedding Part 2 - The Ceremony

I must say the beauty of a Chinese wedding is stunning. While the ceremony itself was pretty standard the emphasis I’ve learned is placed on the proposal, banquet and afterward family rituals. Out of the 4, we were only present for 2, and I was overwhelmed. So let’s start with the invitation.

When I received this and opened it my immediate reaction was how much it looked like a menu. I have learned however that the invitation and envelope are printed on red paper because the Chinese culture believes red is the color for happiness. The large Chinese character on the front is known as Double Happiness and it has a story behind it:

In the ancient Tang Dynasty, there was a student who was on the way to the capital to attend the national final examination, in which the top learners would be selected as the ministers in the court. Unfortunately, he fell ill halfway when he passed through a mountain village. Thanks to a herbalist doctor and his daughter, he was taken to their house and treated well. He recovered quickly due to the father and the daughter's good care. Well, when he had to leave, he found it hard to say good-bye to the pretty girl, and so did she. They fell in love. So the girl wrote down the right hand part of an antithetical couplet for the student to match:

"Green trees against the sky in the spring rain while the sky set off the spring trees in the obscuration."

"Well, I can make it though it is not easy. But you'll have to wait till I have finished the examination." replied the student. The young girl nodded in significance.

In the examination the young man won the first place, who was appreciated by the emperor. Also the winners were interviewed and tested by the emperor. As luck would have it, he was asked by the emperor to finish a couplet, which would need a right part as the answer. The emperor wrote:

"Red flowers dot the land in the breeze's chase while the land colored up in red after the kiss."

The young man realized immediately the right part of the couplet by the girl was the perfect fit to the emperor's couplet, so he took the girl's part as the answer without hesitation. The emperor was delighted to see the matching half of his couplet was so talent and harmonious that he authorized the young man's identity as Minister in the court and allowed him to pay a visit to his hometown first before holding the post. The young man met the girl happily at home and told her the emperor's couplet. They soon got married. For the wedding, the couple DOUBLED the Chinese character, HAPPY, together, on a red piece of paper and put it on the wall to express the happiness for the two events. And from then on, it has been taken on and became a social custom.

The ceremony was held at Victoria College Chapel. Being that a college has many halls and rooms it is no small wonder that a medium sized group of us found ourselves hunting for the wedding. Our wanderings took us behind the Chapel kitchen, through a parking lot, down a flight of stairs, a ride up an elevator and around a corner. We all must have looked liked contestants in The Amazing Race.

To begin the parents of both were asked to give their blessing by lighting candles to represent their children. Then the Bridal party entered. The bride and groom bowed to each other, followed by the standard litany, given in both English and Chinese. Before the vows were taken and rings given the assemblage was asked if they pledged to be of assistance to the soon to be newlyweds before continuing. Unsure of how to respond most people muttered until the Pastor said, “that’s not good enough” (which garnered cheers) and made us repeat our consent with “We Will”. After lighting the unity candle and their presentment as man and wife the signing of the marriage license was performed by the happy couple and witnessed by both sets of parents.

In the receiving line I told Oi,”You couldn’t have done better.” He smiled and jested,”Yeah, I really lucked out.” I have to say knowing what I do of Oi neither of them settled. Oi is quite dedicated to his family as I know that his sister, brother and parents reside with him in his home in Markham. Their marriage is a merging of two wonderful people and they will be very happy.

His mother was dressed in the most elegant looking Chinese evening gown I have ever seen and she looked positively timeless. I made sure to comment on her youthful appearance and was rewarded with humility and thanks.

When the photos began the very first picture that was taken was of the entire assemblage bridal party and guests alike. I love that not only did those in the bridal party matter to them but their friends as well.

Between the ceremony and the reception a rest period was provided for all, whereupon our little group decided to have lunch. During Lunch Jen tried to convince Dash and I that we should be the next to wed. I reminded her gently that Das’s divorce wasn’t quite final and that getting married would have definite financial ramifications. On our way out of the restaurant I forgot the card on the table. When we returned for it 3 hours later it was long gone. No great loss it was only a card thank goodness, no money inside.

Stay tuned for Part 3 next post.

This happens almost every summer. The amount of entries I post dwindle to almost nothing because I have said all I really have to say by then but come fall so much has happened I can’t keep up. This story is a week old and it’s not finished and some other personal things happened on Friday. I’m back logged isn’t it wonderful!

Wedding Part 1 - Backstory

A week ago today Dash and I attended the wedding of a very close and dear friend of ours. Someone Dash has known for about 6 or 7 years. They started out working for Intercon together both with hopes of becoming Police Officers. Oi made it and Dash is still trying.

I met Oi in March of 2003. It was the easiest friendship I have ever had the pleasure of slipping into. I say that, that way because I believe most friendships should be fairly easy, nothing forced or strained. That’s not to say that friendship isn’t worth fighting for, indeed it is. Only just that “Friendship Happens”. Dash said even the way Oi took to me was mildly surprising.

Oi is of Asian/Dutch decent. Both of his parents are Chinese but some how ended up owning several restaurants in Holland. I’m not quite clear on the details and it really doesn’t matter except that it bears on the wedding.

At any rate I had heard horror stories about Oi’s past romantic history. He’s a cop but he’s a Teddy Bear at heart. He’s stable, has an established career, he’s fun and funny but somehow managed to be single half of the time I’ve known him for. It even seemed that he’d decided dating wasn’t going to be a priority in his life until about a year and a half ago. Someone introduced him to Betty (also Asian) and all seemed to be going well.

Last year about this time Dash and I attended Oi’s birthday celebration. It was a drinking free for all and the only rule was if you served Oi a shot you had to have one with him. There had to be at least 30 of us to his one and we’d all made our mission to get him right snookered. Including my then 10 year old daughter.

Picture this. About half of those in attendance are cops, everyone is sitting around Oi’s backyard in a semi circle around the table of booze in various folding chairs, it’s grown quite dark but Oi’s turned on something like stadium lights (on a smaller scale). The Ladybug pours him a shot of Vodka and offers it to him, he’s tipsy at this point and really doesn’t want anymore so he says,”You have to have one with me”.

Bug looks at me, I look at Dash and he says, “According to the letter of the law if her parents are present and consenting she may have an alcoholic beverage in the privacy of a domicile. Within reason.” (Alcohol poisoning you see.)

Bug had moved to the middle of the circle as I said,”If you think you’re woman enough toss ‘er back.”

A hush had fallen aver the congregation. No sooner than the words left my lips than she jerked her head back and took the shot in one fell swoop. The crowd was stunned a moment and then broke into cheers.

Sorry about the side tangent but it comes to bear a little later on. Much later Oi is piss drunk, so much so that he can barely stand. He’s knows he’s well past his limit and avoiding food and that paint thinner they call alcohol like the plague. We’ve managed to maneuver him into a chair while Betty (whose been playing hostess all evening) cleans up. While she’s gone I broach the topic of a possible proposal to which he whisper slurs that plans are in the works.

About that time he starts feeling nauseous and Betty appears from inside. She's helping him hobble around, then decides to run inside for a plastic bag for him to throw up in. Which he actually does use to do just that. The whole time she is holding the bag for him. And that's about the time everyone figured out that this was the girl for Oi.

The proposal was followed about 9 months later by a wedding invitation as you well may have guessed by now.

Part 2 shall entail the Wedding itself. I’d finish it now except I was taught most readers won’t stick around on the net to scroll more than 2 pages. And as we all know I am a natural born talker so some posts get chopped up.

Circle the Buzzards

I admit I have been avoiding posting for the simple reason that I hate to post anything negative about anyone but the facts of the matter are - not everyone I come in contact with is going to do nice things all the time. I admit further that this is a mistake I have made before and one I will probably make again because that’s the kind of person I am.

This post shall be a furtherment of "Roomie Remiss". First I should point out that the previous post was based on my faith that as a “friend” Binner was telling the truth which turns out to be slightly less than accurate. He told us around the 3rd of August that he was hired and would be attending orientation on the 10th for VIPM and that his actual start date would be on the 17th.

It turns out that he did indeed attend an interview with VIPM but was not hired. He spent the next 2 weeks secretly looking for a job and building himself and VIPM up to a point that he couldn’t hope to reach and offering me a job that was pure fantasy.

Dash and I had become suspicious offering him several chances to come clean but he refused to tell us the truth (I believe that he honestly thought he was in to deep to come clean and retain Dash’s friendship). Perhaps all he thought he needed was time to get a different job so that he could build a plausible bridge between what had been a lie and the truth. I wonder if he’ll ever know just how close he came to pulling it all back together.

His “note”book says he started a job on the 17th of August with GC and the Orientation invitation confirms this. That’s right; we found proof of the lies. If you’ve read me before you know that I believe in a minimum of 3 Sides to Every Story and withhold my own conclusions until such time as I feel sufficiently informed to make an educated guess. Which, for the most part is all the closer anyone ever gets to the truth. For truth is most assuredly relative to each individual. Enough of that – if I start doing that karmic psychobabble thing we’ll be here all day, I just want to get the story told as I am certain you just want to get it read.

By September 5th he had received a paycheck and even though I warned him not to put it in the ATM and especially not after business hours he did it anyway claiming that it couldn’t be helped because he was at work all day – which by this point was questionable. He was staying up until all hours of the night, not getting up until 3 in the afternoon and running to his girls place more often than I really think he went to work.

Dash and I had reached our breaking point as with the money and the job offer it was always the same story – not his fault, couldn’t be helped, just a couple more days. We had agreed that when they got back (both D and Binner have every other weekend visitation with their kid(s)) from the weekend that this was his final opportunity to get his act together or get out. On the 10th he gave us 1/3 of what was owed (rent $200 bimonthly and $189.16 for his cell phone bill) with a promise of the 2nd 1/3 on the 13th and the final 1/3 for the 15th . As well as positively confirming that my orientation would be on Friday morning at 9 AM – 4 PM.

In the end he only bought him another 3 days before we were all back to the boiling point again. By the 13th the bank had supposedly told him it wouldn’t be available until the 14th. He went to “work” on Wednesday(13th). Thursday night he called and said he was stopping by his girls then on his way home. Friday morning when I attempted to call his cell it went straight to voice. When I showed up at the address I was given for my orientation it didn’t exist. I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t even angry – the sad part was I expected it. He sent an e-mail at 3:45 that afternoon but I didn’t receive it until the next day. He didn’t come home Friday night and his cell went straight to voice.

I also have to wonder for someone who had no access to money on the 11th of Sept. how he managed to BUY a router so he could have internet. Especially since he’d told us that the router was given to him by JJ (supposedly his boss at VIPM). Here’s a tip for you - If you’re going to lie don’t leave the receipt where it can be found and determined to have been bought miles from where you said it was given.

Un-k pun-kin.

Broken promises lay all around Dash and I like shrapnel so we made our final ultimate decision without discussing it with him, he’d left us no alternative. We locked him out of the house. He showed up Saturday morning about 9:30ish and upon finding the chain engaged neither knocked nor called to have us let him in. A couple of hours later (approximately 11 AM) he did call and said he’d not only lost his job but his EX had sicked FRO on him for earning more money than before and that FRO had frozen his bank account and that he’d call back later to work things out.

He may well have lost his job with GC (due to tardiness - my guess) and FRO may have frozen his accounts but according to letters found amongst the rubble that was his bedroom it was his own fault. I’ll not get into the specifics of his child support as it may well be possible things aren’t what they appear. It would also seem that he has been into some bad business from the moment he got here, with his own bank. Those things aren’t conclusive and so moving right along.

We had a wedding to attend (which I very much want to talk about next post) at 12:30 PM so without further delay we left him locked out and attended the function as planned. Neither of us knew at the time that it would be 12 hours before we got home. Upon our return he was standing in the driveway calling us. Leaving Dash to deal with it I understand the conversation went a little like this:

Binner: So is this an on the street kind of situation?
Dash: Do you have the rent?
Binner: No
Dash: Then I need the keys and the cell phone because I don’t feel like I can trust you after all the lies.
Binner: I never once lied to you.

We returned his clothes, books, movies, games, acoustic guitar and sentimental possessions but we have retained certain items of value to settle the debt he left. During the course of making sure his things were returned to him we learned that his mother pays for most of his responsibilities and was aware that the behavior we experienced is typical of him but that she had hoped living with Dash would teach him how to get his life straightened out.

There are a couple of things I know for sure – You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. You can’t help someone who doesn’t think they have a problem. You can’t (shouldn’t) expect someone to change if they don’t want to.

Dash would say,”My father once told me, if you find yourself in a hole stop digging.” I feel bad for Dash though he’s known Binner for 16 some odd years and that friendship is d-e-d dead. He’s been sullen and broody wondering just how much of those years were lies, trying to define friendship by the good deeds one has performed for the other and of course flipping into the jaded jokes at his friends expense. The latter of which I just had to ask him to stop because I didn’t feel that way even if I understood where it came from.

I’m not sure how I feel about it right now, sort of like buzzards ravaging the remains of the freshly dead. Or like a homeless and hungry person riffling through his dead pockets for spare change. Whatever it is, it just doesn’t feel right.

No Complications

I don’t have a clue what’s gotten into Dash lately but I like it. For the last 3 days all the adults in this household have been fighting off some bug or other (stomach flu, laryngitis, and allergies) leaving us quite tired because our sleep has been disturbed. For D this is usually a cause for no extracurricular nighttime activities but last night, well he was agreeable.

Seems the tide has turned for the better and I’m getting exactly the right amount of intimate attention. I often said with Dash and I there were only 2 problems with our relationship at any given time. Lack of sex and lack of money.

The sex issue has been an ongoing thing that we have made various attempts to correct with little to no success that seems suddenly to have resolved itself.

Where the money is still a moderate problem it is in the works for being ironed out. I’m starting a new job tomorrow morning that will be Monday through Friday 9 AM – 4/5 PM for $10.50 an hour as an Administrative Assistant. I am personally acquainted with my boss and we get along well enough as friends. However I am mildly trepidations about the possibility that work and social may cause a bit of a strain to said friendship but only time will tell.

Believe it or not the idea that Dash and I will have absolutely no problems come the beginning of October actually alarms me on some level. Call me sadistic if you must but I think that in order to have a healthy relationship there have to be problems. Maybe I’m just the type of person who has to have something to work on in order to feel other than worthless. True there will still be goals to work towards and dreams to fulfill but I’m not certain what to do without problems. Mostly I think I fear stagnation and boredom.

From the moment I met him D has captivated me. We are 4 years down the line and he still intrigues me. He can still raise dragonflies in my belly by simply looking at me. No one in the world has ever enthralled me like he does. I love that and I never want to lose it.

Roomie Remiss

Ah, Binner our roomie has had his absolute downs since he arrived in June. Within 48 hours of his arrival Dash had arranged a job for him. After 4 days on PSL (head office) told him that there was a minor technical problem and that they needed him to not go to work until it was sorted out. He waited a week and called, they knew nothing yet. So he waited another week and still PSL was lacking so he informed them he needed to seek employment elsewhere.

During all of this Dash had taken him to Rogers to get a local cell on our account so as to be discounted since we have cable and internet through them. I was flabbergasted thinking he should have waited until his first pay check to be purchasing anything. The only paycheck he received from PSL he spent on a computer and helped us out a little on the groceries. That was June.

Beginning of July he calls up an old acquaintance Re’al owner of a cell phone call center and was assured that there was a supervisory position available for him the following week. You guessed it the following week Re’al said that it would be a week more upon which he informed Re’al that he would need to seek employment elsewhere.

August arrives and he begins putting out résumés even one to the TH I was working at. It wasn’t really what he was looking for but it would have been money in the pocket except they didn’t give him a call back. So mid Aug. he gets a job with VIPM and they hold his first check.

The second check which was paid on the 1st of September is when things started to get really uncomfortable around here. Binner had missed the deadline for it to be direct deposited into the bank so he had to pick it up on Tuesday the 5th (due to the holiday) but he worked all day that day so he deposited it through the ATM. BIG Mistake. Scotia holds all deposits put into the ATM machine for 6 days. I had told him that and apparently he forgot. During all of this he has also promised me a job as his Administrative Assistant – because the hours are more conducive to C’s school schedule and apparently VIPM is very family oriented. As of yet it continues to be postponed.

At any rate when he moved in here it was agreed that he would pay ¼ of the rent, utilities, groceries and his entire own phone bill. It seems with him we are always waiting, it’s not like the guy is out to ruin us or even lie to us but so often what he says WILL happen doesn't. It had gotten tense around here a couple of times but this last one really tripped my trigger.

Yesterday evening when Dash and Binner returned from Ottawa Dash had our first installment of the rent. Binner is supposed to be giving us the same amount on Wednesday and again on Friday. I’ve already told him I’ll believe it when I see it. Same goes for the job offer that he swears he is straightening out today! We shall certainly see.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Dash’s boss gave him 2 tickets to the Toronto BlueJays game this past Wednesday the 6th. Let me tell you those were some seats. 15th row between home base and 1st base. They were playing against the Cleveland Indians. My being American and all I just had to root for the U.S. team. (Funny thing not a single person on the Jays is from Canada).

Anyway just to illustrate how close those seats were about top of the 5th inning the Toronto fans get to clapping for the pitcher to strike this player Luna out because the bases are darn near loaded 2 outs and I decide it has to be difficult to play an away game so I screamed “Come on Luna” and I’ll be damned if he didn’t falter and miss. I swear he heard me and I broke his concentration and lost the Indians their opportunity to bring the score even at that moment. I feel bad, I swear I was trying to help. The Toronto fans are grateful though. It was fun, been a long time since Dash and I went out all by ourselves.

As a side note I’d love to write about all that has happened with Binner but honestly I don’t know where to begin. I guess it’s safe to say the situation is grim.

I love you today because...

The older I get the more I begin to understand. The more I understand the more I appreciate. As appreciation is a commodity of rarity I have decided to make it a point to extend those words of gratitude to whoever is in need of it.

I loved my mother on Saturday because…

As a child my mother spent most if not all of her time doing what other people wanted her to do. I spend a good chunk of my time concerned with the people I love’s happiness. So when I went grocery shopping by myself I noticed that I was listening to the CD I wanted at the volume I wanted, I stopped in stores I wouldn’t normally and took my sweet ass time. It was quite wonderful really and I was left wondering if my mother ever had moments like this of her own.

I loved my Aunt Betty on Sunday because…

I had guests over the weekend which brought the household total to 4 adults and 3 children. It was left to me to make sure everyone was feed. I began with brunch at 10:30 a.m. and didn’t leave the kitchen until 3:30 p.m. That included pancakes and juice for all. Washing all of the dishes. Sweeping up the cereal that made it to the floor and pre-prepping the chicken dinner for roasting.

My Aunt Betty had 7 children. How she ever left the kitchen and kept her house clean I’ll never know.

I loved my mother yesterday because…

Last night I was hemming my pants. The hem itself turned out straight and clean. It was beautiful really. When I was 10 years old my mother taught me to cross stitch, when I was a teenager she tried to teach me to use a sewing machine but I pleaded boredom and turned up my head phones. What she didn’t know was from the corner of my eye I watched her hand sew quilts. I love her for all the things she never knew she taught me.

Health

Okay then. I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet, disappeared or rolled over and died. Although I might have been better off at one point had the latter been true.

On Tuesday August 6th I went to work with major cramping in my torso and abdomen. I had taken quite a bit of medication beforehand hoping that the pain would ease. It really didn’t.

On Wednesday the 7th I was feeling about the same but I thought it was only because I hadn’t been awake very long and that it would subside once I busied myself with work. An hour into my shift I could have sworn that I was having something akin to unending, unceasing uterine contractions. These were accompanied by chills and very severe shakes and I’m starting to worry that I might have ODed on over the counter pain relief.

So I tried calling the main store to see if I could get someone to come in and replace me unfortunately no one was answering (later I found out that someone had not shown up for their shift over there). After that I attempted to call my manager who at midnight was not answering his phone (it usually takes him 4 hours to return voicemail). So I called my immediate supervisor who was supposed to be having surgery the next day and she advised me to call the owner, which I did. The owner said he would stay up all night and try to find my replacement or get the manager to call. He also told me to do as much as I could given the circumstances.

When the manager finally called he said it would be impossible to find someone to fill in for me (without even bothering to try) especially because the other store’s employee had done a no-call no-show. I was livid. He asked me if I could do it, to which I replied that I really didn’t have a choice now did I. I could walk out of the store doors wide open leaving no one there and ruin any chance I had of a job with them or anyone else for that matter or I could shake, cramp and service the patrons. I also conveyed to him that the very first person to show up for their shift was GOING to be my relief and that I was going to the ER immediately.

The relief that finally showed up was the supervisor scheduled for surgery and she showed up for her usual shift not because I needed help. Although she kicked me out of the store as soon as she heard what happened to get taken care of.

After 8 hours in the ER it turns out I had bleed into an ovarian cyst and advised that had I remained standing I could have ruptured it, fallen directly into shock and died. Ah, the joys of mismanaged work places. So the prognosis turned out to be a week of bed rest for the pain to ease, 3 – 6 weeks before I could return to strenuous activity (work) and if I didn’t adhere to this that they most likely would have to perform surgery. But the Doctor said that the pain and bed rest were specifically relative to the individual and therefore could not give me a note for the job other than to say that I had visit the ER and when.

Now you tell me of any work place that is going to give you 6 weeks off after only having been with them for 7 weeks without a doctor’s excuse. I discussed it with my family and we decided together that my health was more important than a job that was only paying me $7.75 an hour, overworking me and more concerned making money than the individual getting them there. I tell you I’m never going to understand employer’s who care nothing for their employee, keeping them happy and healthy so as to avoid the major problem this owner has – high turn over.

It’s been 3 weeks since then and I am only just barely able to do more than lay on the couch. Thank goodness for Tylenol 3 with codine. Last week I was doing 2 chores a week (dishes & dinner) this past week (dishes, dinner and 1 load of laundry a day). Next week I’m hoping to return to work but the job offer is mildly iffy so we’ll see.

Bribe Me Not

So my morals and ethics are making it difficult to keep a job. With the retail store at EC it was about my having a work ethic – I need structure, discipline and rules.

Now with TH my morals tell me to not bribe officers. Company policy views it as an appreciation of the service they perform (I agree) and as an incentive to keep the unsavory away by having police visible in the stores (I appreciate the protection and level of security they provide me when I’m alone for up 2 hours on the night shift but disagree with the way it is accomplished).

Dash says since I personally would give them free coffee if the choice were mine and the owners agree then not to make an issue of it. So here I am not making an issue of it.

I guess what really chaps my ass is that the impression I got from my Stupidvisor was A.) that I should do what I’m told and shut the fuck up B.) that personal ambition would be crushed beneath corporate wheels and C.) that she would pull rank on me on a moral issue.

My internal answer is A.) I do not follow blindly like a sheep, I am an independent thinker with my own mind and questions B.) they don’t pay me enough to throw away my entire POTENTIAL future and C.) I will not be bullied into doing something wrong.

My external answer at the moment was to keep quiet, contact the owner and make sure giving something away would not get me canned, to ask Dash’s opinion on the matter and sleep on it. So I guess I will be giving officers a freebie because I need this job until at least Aug. 13th, the freebie is a small thing, the owner give the go ahead and I personally do NOT mean it as a bribe.

At least this time I had the presence of mind not to quit in a huff. See I did learn something at EC – the first 2 months is an adjustment period. I do love the job and my co-workers even the owners. So dear reader it is off to bed I go to sleep on it – hell who knows maybe my panties got in a bunch cause I was tired and needed a smoke.

Week 4 and 5 are coming on August 11th I promise.