Sexcapades

...and again last night. Although I initiated first contact. I was a little worried I might be suffocating him with my need, but he said the first 3 times he initiated so 3/4 of our recent sexcapades were his doing not mine. Then he laughed and said "you really had to twist my arm didn't you?".

I wonder if I'm addicted to endorphines? I mean some people are addicted to cocaine or alcohol. Why not endorphines? And then I think if I were addicted to endorphines I'd be jumping every passerby I could get my hands on and it's only him I want to enjoy physically.

So, now I'm left with do I love his dick more than I love him? But if that was the case the times when sex is nearly non-existent between us would be unbearable right? So, the answer again seems no.

I don't think I should feel guilty for taking pleasure in him and his body but you know what I do, I really do! He works such long hours, gets very little sleep, and has little time to himself. I am certain if you asked him spending time with me is not a chore most days.

Damn I just wish I could give him more...or is that less? Fuck I don't know anymore. I just want him to be happy and I want to be the one who provides those feelings.