Love Case Studies ~ LCS2: The Junior Years

Puppy Love: I don't remember my elementary years. Having boys pull my hair and pick on me, but I'm certain it happened. Known all to well this stage was where you liked the opposite gender but to much effort pretended to hate them. They were different than me after all, to be sure it must have been exciting, thrilling and dreadful scary. It seemed then and sometimes now to have been a futile experience trying to figure them out never knowing all the while that each little experiment only brought you closer to more confusion. I'm sure it taught me how to get by. <As I write this I am in a car sitting next to a man who is yet a little boy, how I wish in this moment he had hair for me to pull.>

Idealistic Love: Some where I've a list of just about every boy I dated or had intimate relations with and while it could be a good experience for me to sit down and figure out what each one contributed to my views on love and something I may yet do it all pretty much boils down to 2 things 1.)hormones and 2.)undefined identities. We'd discovered that our bodies are full of nerve endings that can convey more than torture as we muddled thru this life. Pleasure in it's purest form, naughty and wild, free and eager to learn and explore. With endorphines comes the chemical confusion we believed at the time was love. And to some end it was a type of love, but when I look back on it now it was the mere idea of the existence of this magical thing that was so entrancing. In love with the idea of being in love, to be controlled, consumed by something bigger than ourselves and yet by something that requires no explanation that love just is... stronger than most emotions, never making sense and giving purpose to our lives even if only a fleeting illusion that flickered and winked out only to be replaced by the next and newest kind we'd ever known. For love is like a snowflake...no two are exactly alike and each one means something different to us.