Cohesion

My daughter is my gift. We have been together thru the world's hardest moments. Together we stand united and strong against the onslaught of chaos that the world seems determined to cast at us.

Losing her father when she was 4 months old banished me into a kind of hell dimension. Therefore I was isolated not only from those around me but had built up a stronghold against her.

She seemed to be a constant reminder of someone, something special I had lost. Also a reminder of the mortality I feel every second of every minute of every day of every week of every month of every year.

Yesterday she showed that she is not the worst parts of me and the best parts of F. Not a monument to my continued failure as a parent but the absolute best parts of every person she has ever known all her short life.

I have thought I was balance, the guiding light, an example of the indomitable spirit that can reside in humanity and conquer anything, but if I am that she is the cohesion of all healing existence.

I did not know, I was blinded by loss and pain, I am not supposed to mold and lead her, I am to follow her charismatic, contagious spirit and learn that which I was incapable of until yesterday.

She is more special than I could have ever imagined and I believe that raising a child such as her is the goal of most if not all parents.

I feel I should drop to my knees before her, beg her forgiveness for my selfishness, faults and mistakes. I spent the majority of the rest of the day with her and found out what an interesting person she really is.

We re-bonded and I enjoyed listening to her innocent wisdom. And for the first time I think she felt important. It sort of felt like the world revolved around her the rest of the afternoon, to this she seemed perplexed, yet humbled and happy to accept this gift.

I have wronged her and she has rewarded me with kindness, generosity and love. What an example the children. If you haven't already take an afternoon to just admire your child. Watch how they move, talk and really listen with the ears of belief. Then I encourage you to find the time, MAKE the time to do so!