M - o - o - n Spells Weird

Career updates go like this, at 6 weeks I closed for the first time and basically left the door unlocked. I got off with a warning. My newest manager ORB has been mentoring me towards the 2k raise but last week we decided to slow down because I was suffocating under the pressure I put upon my self. The reviews due to the restructuring have been completed and the interviews have commenced, I have been informed I am still to new to receive one and therefore will not. On top of all that we shall be getting a new manager come February. That makes 3 managers in 3 months for me. Can you say Weeeeeeeeee?!?!

Dash has sent off his paperwork and received one phone call for clarification and is awaiting the call to schedule his interview. He's all nerves as am I.

Due to our career stresses and overtime we've had 3 fights already, one on Christmas day about spending time together, one on New Years day about whether or not we could afford to buy me a car and one last week about sex. Most of these boil down to a break down of communication in one way or another. Simple misunderstandings and I am beginning to think there is something wrong with 2008. Perhaps the alignment of the stars has thrown the magnetic core out of whack or something but it just ain't right.

I finally figured out what my funk was all about, while we were skipping the holiday hustle and bustle to buy gifts for others we were picking up the slack by working in retail(me) over the holidays, working doubles (both) and days we were supposed to have off volunteering often(me) and working past bone weary (him) right into the grave (wistful thinking sometimes - hehe).

Now that all the hub-bub has passed all of my co-workers have found themselves quite drained and unable to sleep properly. Either due to restlessness, illnesses, nightmares or a combination of the 3. Dashes' co-workers have switched personalities, as in people who used to be nice turned mean and vice versa. It has been discussed among us all as a final let down from all the hurry-worry of the holidays and now that they have past we can relax but have stretched ourselves to thin and it is taking longer than expected to return to normal.

Actually thought it was passing until last night, I had another nightmare. All but one have a similar theme, I've had over a dozen lately. They're all about Dash leaving me for another woman whom he does not love or really want. I truly believed the first few were anxiety over his impending hazardous job. Now I'm not so sure. Dreams for the most part are symbolic I know that, but if it's not about losing him to the job I don't get it because I dealt with my own feeling of inadequacy in keeping his heart and attention over 3 years ago. And now that I've written all this out the dream itself has faded into obscurity leaving behind only this ball of anxiety in my sternum and a general sense of foreboding.

So from here on you may be getting dreams dropped into the middle of no where with no explanation so I can keep track of them.