The pallor of gloom that sits upon our household, unseen, and yet barely even felt that is the thin veil of Dash's deliberate denial and avoidance of EVERYONE he told about this. Even though to anyone else he looks fine, smiles from time to time and even cracks jokes I can still feel him across the ocean that is OUR disappointment. He doesn't say anything. As a matter of course he is even quieter than usual if that is possible.
Thursday was bad but I knew that the next day would be worse because he had been telling all his facebook friends (who to their credit have been very supportive) can't seem to take the hint that he would really rather not rehash the same question over and over again. They mean well and I know they care but seriously people if he isn't singing, dancing and hanging from the rafters with joy then it would seem to me the answer you seek is evident.
I've battened down the hatches because I figure the storm to come is going to be so much worse since the calm is eerily like death. Pallid, cold and still. I've no idea how long it'll be before we see the sunshine of his truly happy smile again so I'll weather the surging tides and be here standing still and waiting to support him in his next endeavor.
As for me well I took it harder than he did. I just...well I believe in him. My heart, soul and mind were sold on dreams, all of them coming true in under a year. His and mine. I can't be sorry I feel that way! I'm shocked, stunned and devastated. More punishment for the wicked I guess. Perhaps we didn't have enough karma points between us to be worthy of having it all. Someday damn it. Someday!!!
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