In August 2007 I had an episode at work. Having never had a heart attack I can only imagine what it feels like but this was something akin to that I think.
It started out as profound sweating, escalated to full on dizziness with pronounced abdominal pain. I was shaking so hard I could not stand and by 5 a.m. I had my boyfriend rush me to the ER. Most of my adult life I would not go to any doctor unless I was quite literally dieing. This I say only to illustrate how bad it felt because I do not believe I am doing it justice here.
They put me through one of those trans-vaginal deals and I have to say it was the single most painful experience of my life including child birth. The tech was in no way forgiving or sympathetic.
The ER pronounced it a cyst. The gynecologist pronounced it a cyst with the possibility of fibroids because of the fact that in previous months I had complained of menstrual cycles so painful I could do nothing but lay on the couch and cry for 3 days. She prescribed me a blue pill for the cramping and said that the cysts would most likely take care of themselves with my next cycle. She also ordered an ultrasound.
When we tried to make the appoinment for the Ultrasound they did not have anything available. While I waited I had taken on a new very physically demanding job as a stable hand. When they finally did have an appointment available I could not go due to the nature of this job not affording holidays, vacation time or sick days. As well as the fact that if I could not go to work there was no co-worker to ask to fill in.
That job included shoveling piles of horse poo into a wheel barrow and dumping onto the dung heap. Followed by many trips (at least 16 every day so round trip that's 32 treks across the arena with a full wheelbarrow of sawdust shavings) across a very big indoor arena to haul shaving back to the pins. Carrying 2 gallon buckets of water to dump out refill and return to the stalls. After 6 months with this job I had lost 25 lbs. and was well on my way to Buff City.
Previous to this I had been a stay at home mommy for 12 years. The painful cramping and debilitation of my menstrual cycles ceased. So I assumed that the cysts had indeed taken care of themselves and completely forgot about the fibroids. I was feeling better than I had in a very long time except for the extreme tired at the end of the day. It was satisfying though. I truly loved it!
Let me ask you this - Do you go to the doctor more than once a year and say "Hey Doc I feel great could you have a look and make sure I really am fine?" Me neither, so it simply slipped out of my mind. The moment I was sure I needed help I got it or I'm trying to - been to the doctors office almost every week since April, I'm a bit tired of this test, test, test, and wait shit!
So 2 years later it may be that those tiny fibroids have banded together across my abdomen, this abnormally growing phenomenon may well have been what has caused my endometriosis I still don't know. Tomorrow I have THE appointment where the Doc is supposed to tell me exactly what is wrong and how we will be proceeding.
I'm hoping for a full hysterectomy. I know this will vault me into full blown menopause but I have already been experiencing most if not all of the sysmptoms associated with it. I have had my children and don't want anymore, neither does Dash as he got fixed 2 years ago. I don't need the baby carriage anymore, nor the ovaries and fullopian tubes. Take it all and the menstrual cycles with it.
The only real concern I have about surgery is the approximate recovery times range from 2 - 6 weeks. This is bad because I do not qualify for paid sick leave with my current job, Employment Insurance will only cover 55% of my average income and will kick in AFTER I've been out of work for 2 weeks. The bills still come whether I am sick or dieing. I'm kind of hoping I am a candidate for the laproscopic surgery (3 little holes on the abdomen) if not that then the vaginal hysterectomy. The other worst scenario is they have to cut through all of my abdominal muscles and open me wide up. That one will have stiches, staples, scars and 6 weeks where I can't even lift toast.
About Me
- Val
- Bliss is the acceptance that control is an illusion and the best you can hope for is to organize the chaos.
1 comment:
A hysterectomy sounds like a great plan of action for you. I've known a few people who've gone through worse than you (if you can believe it) and those who've gone through less and they've all said the same thing: "I wish I had done this sooner". They range in age from 26-50
Laproscopic is much faster healing so I hope you qualify for that. My mom had her's done a week (or two?) before our big vacation. She was given the clear to go and relax, but had to rely on me and Bull for the entire thing. I had no problems with this and they actually bonded a lot over it. Story for another time. She was the best case.
Two coworkers/friends had theirs done and I think one was vaginal and one was lapro and both recovered in about 3 weeks. Pretty textbook and no complications.
The worst case one in my circle of friends was the 26 year old mother of 2 who barely made ends meet but she didn't have a choice, she HAD to have the hysterectomy. She was down for the count for 4 or 5 weeks and knew before hand her surgery would be complicated (she also had adhesions that had to be removed by a second surgeon in the same round). She filed for temporary disability before the surgery and managed to get a decent amount so that she and her family wouldn't drown. Her recovery was very slow but after 3 months she was vibrant, happy, and going through the beginning stages of menopause but she said it was so much easier than her periods that she didn't care.
If your company can't help, then get supplemental help like that. Don't schedule the surgery until you know what you can cover though! Hopefully all goes well though and you're okay. Keep visualizing that 2 week lapro course of action and pray for it. Keep your head up lady. I know it's not easy, but try. Just try.
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