Not Dead Yet

Okie-dokey then. Well first I'll say the psycho thing is attributed to 2 things. I had quit smoking which lead me to nit pick every damn thing so I started smoking again, gonna try to quit again in about 2 days....sigh. And two, my SAD was severe this year due to the weather.

The transition at RCI was difficult and the dust still hasn't settled thus my lack of update. Still have the restructure (possibly non-permanent) manager - McG.

I don't have the faintest idea where to begin to explain all of this. The loss of Sass's organizational skills became quickly apparent so Lexar and I began the tremendously tedious job of trying to baton down the hatches. By Easter with little-to-no idea of what I was doing I blew a gasket all over one impossible to please customer. During that week I had also managed to piss off one co-worker and alienate Orb. It seemed everyday I was making one enormous mistake after another.

It turns out that I had been putting to much pressure on myself to do things that weren't in my job description and sadly this is a 2 month cycle for me.

McG's managerial style and my own control freak personality are clashing even if only in my own mind. He is currently managing 2 stores one without an AM and I understand how easily this could stress him out or cause him to be forgetful, hell I can't even TRY to imagine running just one so I've tried to be understanding.

I've saddled myself with certain responsibilities and am currently trying to learn how to delegate certain tasks and share things. The problem with sharing those things I have taken as my own is that McG has come to rely on my doing these things (even if he won't admit it) so if I hand them off and they aren't done correctly who do you presume he turns the blame on? Right-O, little old frustrated me.

McG has a real need for now results which can be somewhat unorganized and I prefer to take things in a little more of a organized manner and do them right the first time, which granted takes a bit longer but reduces mistakes. It often feels like he is disappointed in everything I do and I assume he lays the blame with me (although I've been told he's just super tense about loss-prevention and it's nothing personal).

It really boils down to I haven't the proper training to do all that I do and am often blind-sided by some incoming phone call of something that needs doing right now when he's not around to consult. So I have to muddle through it and learn the hard way. I've asked for the training but it is slow in the coming especially since half of his time is spent elsewhere and part of me believes he has no faith in my abilities. I guess we'll see at what is supposed to be my 6 month review on the 10th.

Doesn't read half as bad as it feels especially since I glossed over the finer details of mini-dramas among the College Set. I am over-worked, under-paid and under-appreciated I guess that's normal and we all hate it but for the love of goodness I feel like I'm suffocating.

In other frustrations, Dash had been offered not one but two promotions - Security consulting for the firm he currently works for and Property Administrator for the company he works under. He went for an interview for the Consulting gig and they told him he had it in the bag but they had to wait for Accounting to arrange for the position through the Budgeting committee. This position would include quite the salary hike plus a clothing allowance and either a company car or a car allowance. This tickled the hell out of us both.

Dash because it validated his worth being offered 2 positions. He decided not to go with the Property Admin since it would mean to much time behind a desk pushing paper. And I was excited because either way we decided to go with the car issue it would me I would no longer be riding my bike the 4.5 kilometers to work.

Alas here we are a month later with no word on his start date and $2500 worth of repair work needing done on our current vehicle.

Can you spell S-T-R-E-S-S! That's on both of us. I can't get promoted because I'm to new and the trainer has split responsibilities and Dash is waiting.

Hello Limbo, sometimes I think Limbo is so much worse than hell could ever be. I DO NOT wait well!!!